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Home » Be intentional in communication
Human Resources

Be intentional in communication

Word choice can impact tone of message and how it’s received.

April 22, 2021
Jennifer Plager
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Author/communication expert Sarita Maybin addresses the 2021 CUNA HR & Organizational Development Council Virtual Conference.

Words and phrases play a critical role in the messages we convey, which affects how effectively teams work together.

“We must be intentional in how we communicate,” says Sarita Maybin, a communication expert and author who spoke at the 2021 CUNA HR & Organizational Development Council Virtual Conference Wednesday.

Collaboration is crucial in the workplace. Instead of using phrases that place blame, make demands, or dictate actions, Maybin advises using statements that take ownership, make requests, and seek solutions.

Three ways to do this:

  1. Guilt-free yes. When you receive a request for help, set boundaries within the “yes” by using statements such as “if,” “when,” and “as soon as.” For example, “Yes, I’ll provide you with information about the loan rate as soon as you fill out the application.”
  2. “Would you be willing to?” Instead of rejecting a request, this statement leads to a compromise. For example, “Would you be willing to hold off on making a decision while we research the idea further?”
  3. “WIIFM,” or “what’s in it for me?” People must have an internal or intrinsic motivation to help you. They often respond to requests based on behaviors that will provide them with rewards or allow them to avoid negative outcomes.
‘Move from the bossy side to the collaborative side.’
Sarita Maybin

WIIFM is the middle ground and provides reasons why cooperating is beneficial.

“The goal is to move from the bossy side to the collaborative side,” Maybin says.

Being intentional about word choice is even more important as communication shifts online.

“We sometimes don’t meet people in person for a long time after emailing or texting with them,” she says. “How can we make ourselves warm and friendly in our emails? The magic words are ‘thank you’ and ‘please.’”

CUNA HR & Organizational Development Council

CUNA HR & Organizational Development Council

When crafting an email, Maybin suggests running a “please and thank you” check to make sure you’ve included those phrases. It’s a way to “humanize our emails so you don’t have people thinking you’re cold and brusque.”

When writing an email, pay attention to the words you’re using, Maybin says. Word choice can impact the tone you convey.

Some examples are:

  • Inflammatory words: Arrogant, condescending, incompetent, toxic.
  • Problem-solving words: Acknowledge, appreciate, consider, understanding.

Look at the email and find ways to replace inflammatory words with problem-solving words or other positive, encouraging words that will transform an email from one that sounds mean-spirited and negative into one that has a nicer tone, Maybin says.

“This is the true test of saying what you mean in a nice way,” Maybin says. “When we’re in person we have to think for a minute before we speak. But the luxury of email is that before we hit send, we can look at some words and phrases and make changes.”

► Visit CUNA News for more conference coverage and view event highlights on Twitter via the #HRODCouncil hashtag. Learn more about the CUNA HR & Organizational Development Council, a member-led professional society for credit union executives, at cunacouncils.org.

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