When 2022 began, a Gallup poll found that most Americans thought the new year was a “horrible, no good, very bad idea.”
The pandemic continued, making everyone feel like they were stuck in an endless loop of watching “Groundhog Day.”
Here are some memorable moments from the year that was 2022:
Jan. 26: In a surprise announcement, the Federal Reserve says it might raise rates by a tiny fraction in the coming months in the off chance inflation creeps up a bit.
Feb. 2: The Financial Accounting Standards Board (FASB) decides not to delay the current expected credit losses (CECL) standard for credit unions and other entities. This makes the requirement effective Jan. 1, 2023, which will now be known as FASB CECL Day.
Feb. 24: Russia invades Ukraine, which sane people think is a “horrible, no good, very bad idea.”
March 16: The Federal Reserve makes its first rate hike since 2018 to prevent the off chance inflation continues its slow rise.
March 27: A boring awards show interrupts a slapping contest at the Academy Awards.
April 11: Boris Johnson, U.K. prime minister and extra on “The Crown,” apologizes like a 16-year-old caught at a kegger.
April 5: Elon Musk announces he’s joining the board of Twitter.
April 10: Elon Musk says “jk” about that.
April 14: Elon Musk announces he’s offered $43 billion to buy Twitter.
April 17: The board of Twitter refuses to ever sell to Elon Musk.
May 13: Elon Musk says “jk” about buying Twitter.
May 27: Hollywood releases “Top Gun: Maverick.” A sequel to the classic “Top Gun” from the ‘80s, it stars Tom Cruise as he attempts to save the world from an evil villain who’s trying to decrease interchange rates yet again.
June 1: The Johnny Depp/Amber Heard trial concludes. The public is finally able to watch something more entertaining, such as the World Series of Paint Drying.
June 14: In a survey analysis by TikTok user @irony, 98% of respondents say they completely trust the platform, while the remaining 2% were in hiding.
July 23: The World Health Organization declares Monkeypox a worldwide health concern. COVID retaliates by filing suit in federal court, claiming defamation and copyright infringement based upon it being “the only disease for this planet.”
Oct. 28: Elon Musk buys Twitter, instantly creating the joke, “How do you make Twitter worth $1 billion? Sell it to Elon for $43 billion.”
Nov. 16: NASA launches Artemis, a rocket so powerful it could propel two school buses to the moon. Excitement reaches a peak in Denver, where local fans have begun a fundraising campaign to put the Broncos on the next flight.
Nov. 28: FTX, one of the world’s largest and apparently dumbest cryptocurrency firms, declares bankruptcy. Its CEO, Sam Bankman-Fried, becomes the laughingstock of the financial world as he loses $26 billion dollars overnight and creates the joke, “What do Elon Musk, Sam Bankman-Fried, and I have in common? None of us are billionaires.”
Dec. 24: National banks announce their latest program, “Get Rid of Increasingly Costly Humans,” or GRINCH, just in time for Christmas.