‘Click here!’ and other catchy marketing phrases

Marketing is rife with catchy phrases and terms. Many of these are uncommon and can easily confuse even the most seasoned manager.

We hear many of these terms so often they become catch-all “it’s important because I threw ‘AI’ into it” instances.

For those who aren’t in marketing, I’ve taken the liberty to define some of the more overly used phrases along with their scale of hype: A category 1 term is mildly irritating while 5 is full rage-quit level:

• Persona. While we all understand that every person is unique and special, some herd people together like families at a Disney vacation. Ranging from “bearded men who think they work in a brewery” to “families most likely to argue during game night,” these personas allow for marketing segmentation to better focus marketing dollars. Score: 2
• Gamification. Let’s put it this way: Conducting financial transactions ranks right up there with watching QVC infomercials on a Friday night. To spice things up, some strive to make the mundane more entertaining by adding some excitement to it—providing features more likely found in a game. Of course, until we add “spin to win” and make sure the member has some skin in the game, it’s still boring. Score: 1
• Hyper local.At first, we wanted it regional. Then local. Now the buzzword is “hyper local,” which makes me envision 20 screaming toddlers at a birthday party. Score: 3
• Disruptor. Like the ray gun on the original “Star Trek” (extra points if you get that reference), this is what somebody (typically themselves) calls something they may or may not do very well. Score: 5
• Pain points. This can refer to my knees after getting up in the morning, a regulatory exam, or difficulties members experience when doing business with us. Score: 3
• Target audience. To marketers, this is the segment of the populace that has been carefully analyzed to achieve maximum return. For CEOs, these are people who can fog a mirror. Score: 2
• Clickbait. The art of putting a title on an internet posting so catchy that people open it before realizing they’ve created an infinite pop-up loop. It’s also how you’re probably reading this article if we did it right. Score: 4
• Outside the box. Unless you’re Schrödinger’s cat, being inside or outside the box is somewhat immaterial to the question. The term is supposed to show, “hey we’re creative,” so if they don’t use the term, they’re “just rehashing old terms like outside the box.” This is one area where the hype is both alive and dead. Score: 5
• Snackable content. This is a nice way to say, “the average American has the attention span of a gnat in heat.” Unfortunately, this is true. Score: 1
• Seamlessly. To avoid angering the operations gods, many people will declare that the new marketing process/plan/idea can be implemented “seamlessly.” And by “seamlessly” they mean “at the same level of that home improvement project you began in 2022.” There are two truths in the world: First, all change has some degree of impact somewhere, and second, nothing good happens after you decide you need to contact your ex at 2 a.m. on a Friday night. Nothing. Score: 3
• Pivot. Some say a good politician pivots “like a well-oiled weather vane,” but credit unions probably shouldn’t. We have purpose and morals. You can change direction, but it must be less dramatic and more planned. Score: 3
• AI. If one term should be banned in marketing, it’s bragging that somehow, someway, you have artificial intelligence buried in some product or process. Someone could be struggling to sell you a tofu and kale sandwich, but add a little “AI” sauce and somehow it’s edible. Score: 15

JAMES COLLINS is a former credit union CEO.